Use It or Lose It- Snappin' Out of a Funk

I always said, "There is NO WAY I could ever be a teacher!" But I have quickly discovered that those very things we think we CAN'T do, may end up being the very things we find a new excitement for, if given the chance.

This past week I began a journey of substitute teaching and I have to say, it has been a wonderful blessing filled with LOTS of laughs! I have heard so many funny things come out of the mouths of kids, especially since I have 3 of my own, plus a house full of 'friends' most the time. However, this week I have been given a different view. I looked at my students with a sense of wonder for what their lives may hold, a belief that they REALLY ARE our future and my heart went out to this generation as it IS the most difficult to grow up in.

What if us as adults, saw our day as that of a student... you could be anything you wanted to be, accomplish great things in life and still make a difference in the world? How would that change our motivation, drive and goals? How would that change our world? Being an adult is hard, especially when you are a single parent barely getting by, I get it! But, I made a choice to see life through a different lens this week.

I am usually a pretty positive person, until the last few months. I allowed my circumstances to TRAMPLE my faith and drive. I LET the negative creep in... and boy did it show! I wasn't the 'me I want to be' AT ALL! and I'll spare you the details, but my heart is heavy and my bank account is still empty, yet I woke up today with all of the tools I need to take one more step- in the RIGHT direction. So that is what I am doing... TEACHING MYSELF, one step at a time, one day at a time... Focusing on what I CAN DO and not on what I'm lacking. I made a few adjustments the last few weeks:

• Removed myself from negative atmospheres
• Reaffirmed my faith, both in church and with my daily devotion time
• Recommited to a healthy lifestyle again: Eating healthy, working out, etc.
• Surrounded myself with positive people. Let's face it, "you are who you hang with"
• Made a list of what I CAN CHANGE and what I have no control over. Then took the focus off the 'have no control over' list. (What and I willing to accept and what am I not?)
• Brainstormed ideas to pull myself up financially utilizing the talents I DO have
• Went back to the basics of planning my week- this is a HUGE thing for me: meals, schedules, activities, etc. 
• Listened to more uplifting music and read more positive quotes and articles- less of the funny, yet super sarcastic stuff I had drifted towards.
• And finally, let go of what others might say about me- who cares! They are not in my shoes and they do not raise 3 kids single-handedly, trying to provide financially almost 100% AND physically. 

Just like my students, I have a future ahead of me and can still be anything I want to be, with the right amount of hard work, planning and diligence... and of course a positive attitude. I can teach myself to use it or lose it!

"Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:3

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Helping Children Cope When A Tragedy Occurs

Watching any kind of tragedy unfold is hard on adults, but take a moment and consider a child's perspective. Adults know there is evil in the world and bad things do happen to good people, but a child's views are being shaped every day from playtime to the harsh reality of the world we live in.

My 8 year old daughter got into the car after school today and said
"Mommy we talked about the bombing today in school and they said an 8 year old boy died while waiting for his dad run. That is scary- I am 8 and you are a runner!"

She connected the dots of this horrific Boston Marathon Tragedy with the innocent age of someone her own age. She also brought up the shooting in CT and the talk we had about that tragedy just a few months ago. All three of my children had their views on these incidents, but as I listen to them share their perspectives and fears I am reminded as a parent that I can shape their outlook and attempt to calm their fears. There are a few simple things we can do to help the many questions and fears that develop in our little people, as well as our teenagers that seem to know it all:

• Assure them they are loved and comfort them. Do not brush off their feelings but rather allow them to express their thoughts in a secure place with the circle of love to absorb emotions attributed to the natural feelings they are experiencing.
• Control your own reaction to the situation. It is easy for us to tell them to do something a certain way, but it is more important that our reactions as parents/adults reflect the advice we give. Be careful not to jump to conclusions or offer initial motives for a cause of the tragedy. Also be careful not to judge or stereotype a certain type of person/people verbally. (They really do hear everything we say, and pick up on so much that we do not say) Model calm behavior but do not underestimate the affect evil has on innocent lives.
• Limit their exposure to pictures and news coverage based on age. We live in a day and age where pictures from a crime scene and tragedy spread at a viral rate through social media like never before, but monitor closely what is being viewed by little eyes. Just because a picture is released through Twitter, Facebook or other news source does NOT mean an 8 year old needs to see the graphic details. It is our job as parents to carefully expose our children to the realities of the world, but not all has to be done before the appropriate age.I am big on keeping it real with my own kids, but there are healthy boundaries of exposure too.
• Have them focus on the brave help of the emergency responders. When my kids do come across a picture or news coverage of an event that is less than favorable, I have them search out the emergency workers: Fireman, Police Officers, Military, etc. This offers a fresh approach to see the good in people and those willing to help at all costs. It also takes some of the negative weight off the crime scene/tragedy that is typically reported by new media. This is not to take away from the awful events but just adjusting perspective in the eyes of a child.
• Lead them to pray for the victims and their families. Offering up fears and sadness through prayer is a powerful way to release anxiety, especially when taught to do so at a young age. This has been my 'go to' way of helping my children in times like these. We always pray for the people affected and open our hearts to ways to help. If you listen closely to them, you may be surprised at their ideas on helping others. It definitely keeps me in check every time. 

I love the innocence of  children all ages possess and try to foster their sweet, kind hearts as much as possible, even though tragedy and evil occurrences. After all- isn't about the generation we are raising and what we CAN DO to create a different place to live in?