Is it ever going to be my turn?

As I sit in bed sick, probably because I have run myself too hard AGAIN... thinking I can fix everything if I just work a little harder and do things the 'right' way, (whatever the 'right' way is) I end up feeling empty and more frustrated than I began setting the unrealistic goals in the first place.

When will we learn to love ourselves for who we are today, 

not for who we hope we will become someday?

Sometimes this Rockstar mom needs a little less caffeine and a little more love- SELF LOVE. Mother's Day was yesterday and it took a toll on me trying to run all over picking kids up on a day off, after working a gazillion hours, making my rounds and working around everyone else's schedule, that I was exhausted and wanted the one thing money can't buy- A NAP! When is it going to be my turn to have someone by my side to help me or remind me I am a good mom and my efforts are noticed?? Or the hours I put into working are going to pay off with just a slight hope of financial security instead of the fear I face on a daily basis, trying to figure out what is getting paid and what isn't. Then I think about what I have and what I have made it through- more than where I have to go. 

When I did finally make it home, I was so pleasantly surprised by my daughter's efforts to decorate a picture frame and crafts, wrap it all up and surprise me! It suddenly reminded me that I am loved by my sweet kids, even if not always felt. That is when it hit me- They love me for ME- for the me I am RIGHT NOW... they are the very reason I have the title that some beg, borrow and steal for- They call me MOM! I am so blessed to have a chance to build them up and offer them encouragement to live a life full of love and love themselves. They are the ones standing by my side and loving me. They are why I go to work and fight for a strong financial plan. They are the very reason I try to make the best choices I can make, even when it means turning down something that sounds fun for the moment. They are the reason I love being a mom and continue to press on to healthy self care strategies. 

~V

Adjusting Expectations

Sometimes the picture inside our heads of the way we think it should be interferes with the reality of the way it just is...

Tonight I am going to bed and thankful that I had a morning at church to be reminded that miracles really do happen and there is a far greater picture than what I can see right now in a lonely moment. Trusting God and building my relationship with him is where the rest of the 'puzzle pieces' are put in place. I have to work on adjusting expectations of myself and let go of this idea of trying to be 'perfect' to be good enough.

Today, I was given an afternoon to make lunch with my kids- Biscuit Pizzas, a mini nap on the couch after we ate, able to play in the sprinkler, have popsicles outside, a crock pot roast with potatoes, carrots and rice, mozzarella green beans, and fresh berries for dinner, and more playtime after that, even craft time in the kitchen!

What I would typically do is beat myself up because it's Sunday evening and I have not scheduled the rest of the week out to a tee, finished all laundry and planned, shopped for and prepped all  meals/food for the rest of the week... oh and heaven forbid I not clean the whole house too right?

Well tonight I am giving myself a break, I did work until 3am last night (a part time job in addition to my full time mon-fri job) and still managed to get up and take everyone to church in the first place. I am going to let go of the PERFECT PICTURE in my head of how 'I think' everything should look and let be what may be.

Now of course I am not going to drop all planning and prepping efforts, that's not in my nature, but I am going to start embracing life a little more and try things differently, hence this blog begins tonight. If we want different results we have to do things differently, right? As I journey along this week, I am moving grocery shopping to Monday night after work, and laundry will fill in through the week... and the picture in my head will reshape itself with a whole lot more happiness! Why?? Because I choose to let it be that way. Creating a Rockstar life in a little less than normal way...

(P.S. I do believe I am experiencing slight chest pains for this bold new step. I mean let;s face it, my usual crazy busy week could be a complete disaster. And on the other hand it could still be a crazy busy week as usual- guess it's good I have dealt with that sort of thing before!

Welcome to my new blog

Welcome to my new blog. This is a collections of thoughts and snapshots of doing life as a single mom, utilizing the God-given 'caffeine' to create a Rockstar life for me + 3. I hope this brings encouragement as well as truth for other single mom's out there just trying to figure this crazy life out. There are good times, bad times and all kinds of other times in between... But at the end of the day, it is up to us to create a Rockstar life!
~V